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family therapy after a divorce

Have you recently been through a divorce? Are you feeling the impact of the divorce in ways that you didn't plan for? After my divorce, my kids and I went through several months where they were angry and I felt like a complete failure. It was almost a year before I decided to begin seeing a family therapist to help us get through such a difficult transitional time for the entire family. She was so understanding, compassionate and helpful. She helped us talk through our feelings and provided us with the tools that we needed to get through the most difficult time in our lives.

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family therapy after a divorce

When To Seek Couples Counseling

by Fernando Barnett

Relationships are a lot of work. Even the strongest couples have to work at their relationship at times. There are countless situations that can create ripples within a relationship including: communication disconnects, lack of quality time together, infidelity, sexual drive changes, finances, having children, children leaving the home, career changes, and many more. How couples maneuver through these things has a significant impact on the longevity and fruitfulness of the relationship. Seeking outside guidance from a couples counselor is a great place to start. 

What exactly IS couples counseling?

Couples counseling can open up the lines of communication between a couple in a safe and open environment. A couples counselor is an unbiased third-party that can facilitate healthy dialogue and promote exercises for growth. A couples counselor is usually a licensed therapist who specializes in relationships, marriages, and families. Some couples counselors also specialize in areas such as sex therapy or even prescribe mental health medication. 

How to know if couples counseling might be right for you?

There are some bumps in a relationship that can be worked through between the partners if open communication is feasible. Disagreements, changes in career responsibilities, or financial hardships may seem like small changes that are temporary, but if they are not talked through so that each partner is on the same page and understands the other partner, then these changes can create resentments that will fester and potentially create issues elsewhere in the relationship. Consider seeking a counselor to explore these areas to ensure communication is productive and healthy. 

There are also great benefits to engaging in couples counseling even if there are no apparent riffs in the relationship. Many couples will seek counseling as a form of maintenance. This is a great way to enter into an engagement or marriage. Couples counseling helps ensure that healthy habits are practiced from the beginning of the relationship. This will have positive impacts on the relationship for years to come.

Mental health illnesses and the impact on the relationship

If one or both parties in a relationship are struggling with a mental health illness, couples counseling as well as individual counseling may be a necessity. Mental health medication may also be a potential need in order to encourage a healthy, long term relationship. Mental health illnesses, such as depression, bi-polar disorder, or personality disorders can have strong impacts on all areas of one's life, and these will undoubtedly impact relationships in many ways. Counseling and/or medication will be an important aspect of the relationship if this is the case. 

In conclusion, couples counseling can be a healthy way to open up lines of communication for a variety of marital or relational issues including finances, changes in careers, infidelity, intimacy barriers, and when coping with mental health illnesses.

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