Have you recently been through a divorce? Are you feeling the impact of the divorce in ways that you didn't plan for? After my divorce, my kids and I went through several months where they were angry and I felt like a complete failure. It was almost a year before I decided to begin seeing a family therapist to help us get through such a difficult transitional time for the entire family. She was so understanding, compassionate and helpful. She helped us talk through our feelings and provided us with the tools that we needed to get through the most difficult time in our lives.
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When you are attending marriage counseling, one of the more difficult topics couples have trouble with is sex. Most people don't want to talk about their personal life with a therapist, and talking about sex is even harder. To regain the intimacy that you and your partner may have lost because of issues around sex, it's important to discuss this crucial component of your married life.
Both Partners Feel Unsatisfied
While neither of you might expect the fireworks you had when your relationship began, both partners may feel unsatisfied with their sex life but be unable to share this with their spouse. It isn't easy to talk about sex, especially when you don't feel like it is good enough. Whether you don't want to hurt your spouse's feelings, or you feel like their is no point, talking about your wants and desires may open the door to more intimacy.
Life Gets in the Way
As a couple matures together, the responsibilities of daily life may start to take over. You may spend less time thinking about your spouse, and less time worrying whether they are sexually satisfied. While this is not going to damage a marriage in the short term, a couple that puts their sex life on the back burner will find that their intimacy is lacking in a very critical way. It's important to take the time to have intimacy, even if it feels scheduled. Couples that engage in sex on a consistent basis are more satisfied with their marriage overall.
Honesty and Sensitivity is Best
When you begin to talk about sex with a marriage counselor, being open and honest about your feelings will be essential. The therapist will guide the discussion, and you can answer questions as you feel comfortable. Being sensitive will help, but you should aim to be clear about your desires and frustrations so that they can be discussed in a therapeutic setting. While you may feel uncomfortable, this is a good place to talk about what has been unsatisfying about your relationship. Your partner may have no idea about your frustrations, and it's possible that they are feeling the same way.
As you begin to talk about your sex life in therapy, you will notice that you and your spouse will begin to grow closer together. Simply the mere act of talking about sex brings intimacy and trust into the conversation, and you may find that your relationship begins to grow once again.
For professional counseling help, contact a company such as Malan Relationship Health.
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