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family therapy after a divorce

Have you recently been through a divorce? Are you feeling the impact of the divorce in ways that you didn't plan for? After my divorce, my kids and I went through several months where they were angry and I felt like a complete failure. It was almost a year before I decided to begin seeing a family therapist to help us get through such a difficult transitional time for the entire family. She was so understanding, compassionate and helpful. She helped us talk through our feelings and provided us with the tools that we needed to get through the most difficult time in our lives.

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family therapy after a divorce

Marriage Is Forever: How To Cultivate A Christian Marriage That Will Last A Lifetime

by Fernando Barnett

The high divorce rate today can make even the most devout couples fearful of walking down the aisle and promising to love one another forever. Both Christian marriages and secular marriages seem to be failing at an alarming rate. If you are engaged and planning your wedding, you may wonder why so many married couples end up in divorce court and whether getting married is really worth it.

God created marriage, and the Bible states in Malachi 2: 15-16 that God hates divorce. Christian couples should take marriage seriously and work together to make the marriage relationship strong.

However, good marriages don't just happen. They have to be cultivated and nurtured. You can have a marriage that stands the test of time by establishing a few guidelines to follow before you walk down the aisle.

View marriage as a relationship established by God, not a contract

Don't be quick to head for divorce court when problems arise. Decide from the beginning that you will work on your problems instead of walking away from them. The Bible states in Matthew 19: 4-6 that God intended for marriage to be an exclusive one-flesh relationship between a man and a woman. This one-flesh relationship is not to be separated by man.

Don't view your marriage as a contract that can be easily broken. If you view your marriage as a relationship established by a holy God, you are more likely to take it seriously.

When problems arise, consult the owner's manual

If your car or an electronic device malfunctions, you typically consult the owner's manual to troubleshoot it. In a Christian marriage, the Bible is your owner's manual.

The Bible contains everything you need to grow a healthy marriage. It contains specific instructions on marriage and how husbands and wives should treat one another.

The following are some good verses to read:

  • Genesis 2: 22-24
  • Proverbs 5: 18-19
  • Proverbs 12: 4
  • Proverbs 18: 22
  • Ephesians 5: 22-31
  • 1 Corinthians 7: 1-14
  • Colossians 3: 18-19

Seek counseling for issues you can't resolve

The time to consult a marriage counselor is before things get out of control. If you encounter a problem in your relationship that you're unable to resolve, you should seek the help of a professional marriage counselor as soon as possible.  

A counselor can help you learn healthy ways to resolve conflicts. For instance, if money issues arise, your counselor can help you establish a budget that meets the needs of you and your spouse. If your sexual needs are different, a counselor may suggest planning regular date nights or scheduling specific dates for intimacy to keep both of you happy in the romance department. Differences about how to raise children can be addressed if necessary.

When you follow God's ultimate plan for marriage as established in the Bible, you won't need to fear ending up in divorce court. No marriage is perfect, and problems will arise from time to time. However, establishing a few guidelines before the wedding ceremony may prevent you from becoming another divorce statistic.

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